That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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