Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm at about main and main street
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
