Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Small penises have feelings too.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
