Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
