just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
this boner is exhausting
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
