apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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