Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
