so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
