I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
