I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
