I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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