Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Your dad touched me again.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
