We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
