so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
