Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
