I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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