On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
