He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
