He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
