what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
