love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
