Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
