dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
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I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
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Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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