There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize