your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
