I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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