There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
