I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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