so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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