I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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