At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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