scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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