Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
