i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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