I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
