Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
