well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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