So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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