He told me they were just razor bumps!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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