I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
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Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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