You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
