So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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