New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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