Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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