She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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