He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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