I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
