It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
