I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize