a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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