either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
