Operation Purity has been aborted
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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