It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
