Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
