Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
