Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i believe in u and ur pee
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
