Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
3pm strippers are depressing
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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