went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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