Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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