A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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