check it out our google latitudes are spooning
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
