You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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