He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
