Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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