i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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