drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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